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71You Can Only Be A True Georgian If...
Preview: You know how to get the juice out of a honeysuckle. You get excited each and every time the Falcons make the playoffs, and you never get excited when the Braves do the exact same thing. You cuss the drive up to Atlanta, but you enjoy yourself after you get there. You realize that people have different speaking accents in the West, Northwest, No... (more)
Published By: Ed Williams
Submitted: 07 April,2005
72‘I'm Not A Christian, But I Play One On Sunday'
Preview: After more than three decades of church ministry, I have come to one unsettling conclusion. Actually, I've come to more than one conclusion, but this one is the most depressing. That conclusion is simply this: all who say they are going to Heaven are not actually on the right path, going in the right direction. Most, of course, have the best inte... (more)
Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder
Submitted: 09 April,2005
73The Ride of his Life
Preview: THE RIDE OF HIS LIFE It was a chilly, crisp morning at the racetrack. The sun was just beginning to come up over the mountains in the distance as Dad and I led one of our thoroughbreds out of the stables and out towards the training track. We were waiting to start track work with one our best gallopers, Paragon Prince, but unfortunately, once aga... (more)
Published By: Jelbaby
Submitted: 10 April,2005
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Submitted: 13 April,2005
75The Fine Line Between Strategy And Luck: Pro Battleship Tour
Preview: I've covered the U.S. Professional Battleship Tour since its beginning in February 2005. I know that's not a lot of time for this sport, but believe you me, I can't think of a more backbreaking or grueling sport to watch, cover or think about. What is Professional Battleship? It's making a living playing the classic Milton Bradley board game. Som... (more)
Published By: Dusty Applegate
Submitted: 15 April,2005
76Preparation and execution of my income tax return
Preview: April 15th is the time of the year when Americans can communicate with their government. I cannot testify for anyone else, but I look forward to this marvelous opportunity and I am careful not to waste it. This year, for example, so much has happened to me since last year it took 15 single-spaced typed pages to include everything. However, to be ... (more)
Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder
Submitted: 18 April,2005
77The Finer Points of Poverty
Preview: I'm poor. And I'm not ashamed of it. Actually, I'm kind of proud of myself for being poor. It's an accomplishment that many people will never attain. Some people will go through their whole life and never know what it's like to experience some of the finer points of poverty like eating ramon noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner 5 days a week.... (more)
Published By: Timothy Ward
Submitted: 19 April,2005
78I'm A Romance Novel Hero!
Preview: Before we get started here, let me tell y’all that what you’re about to read is the absolute truth. The absolute, unvarnished truth. I swear it on every one of my Elvis and BTO CDs. Now, let’s get right down to it, y’all just focus your eyes on the following sentence: I was the inspiration for the male lead in a published romance novel. Okay, ... (more)
Published By: Ed Williams
Submitted: 20 April,2005
79If you can't laugh at yourself...
Preview: Just make fun of other people.I mean,the concept of making fun of someone is taken too serious.I saw some fat bitch who was shoved into a lot of mud.Did I laugh?Of course,I laughed my ass off the whole time she was down there.Did I help her?Hell no,it wouldn't have been so damned funny if I would have helped someone out.That's a crock of shit,some... (more)
Published By: The Epic
Submitted: 21 April,2005
80THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM A DUCK
Preview: Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM A DUCK -- Or, what doesn’t have web feet, feathers and can’t even quack? -- What does one do with an empty calendar? The simple answer is to fill in the blanks with all manner of really important things to do. But, if you’re like some folks, (with neither a calendar nor a “to-do” ... (more)
Published By: Truman Tockhole III
Submitted: 21 April,2005
81Why It Pays to Out More Humor in the Workplace
Preview: 1. Humor reduces stress levels and stress is the number one problem confronting employees today. 2. Laughter boosts morale while stress erodes staff morale. It is in the best interest of any business to invest in the happiness of its employees. Laughter is an effective barometer of just how happy your people are. 3. Keeping things in perspective... (more)
Published By: Mike Moore
Submitted: 21 April,2005
82HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH ...XP
Preview: Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH ...XP --Or, are you sure Windows XP can fly me to the moon and back? -- The world is moving at a break-neck speed these days, so it’s no wonder we’re impressed as heck with turbo-charged racing cars, bored out of our trees with fast food, and whacked out of our gourds by something ca... (more)
Published By: Theolonius McTavish
Submitted: 22 April,2005
83A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk
Preview: A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good. The faster I try to go; the less I seem... (more)
Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder
Submitted: 25 April,2005
84MAKE 'EM LAUGH: SELLING HUMOR ONLINE
Preview: Every day, thousands and thousands of people venture out into the complicated world of online business. The vast majority of these people are joining affiliate programs, MLMs, or trying to market information products. These can make great businesses, but if you really want to stand out, maybe you should try something that gives people a unique, fu... (more)
Published By: Dave Bealer
Submitted: 26 November,2001
85The Gingerbread Nightmare
Preview: The Gingerbread Nightmare Do you ever see those beautiful gingerbread houses during the holiday seasons that are so beautiful? They look so simple, and look like such a fun project to do with the kids making gifts for grandma and grandpa. I could just feel it….soft Christmas music in the background, the warm, spicy smell of gingerbread fillin... (more)
Published By: Valerie Garner
Submitted: 14 December,2001
86Mouth Wide Open!
Preview: With the advent of modern technology, anyone with a computer can write or speak whatever is on their mind. This word is used lightly in the case of this writer. We call this, “freedom of speech”. It’s also constitutionally protected. In case you are unfamiliar with the constitution, the founding fathers instituted the right of free speech to prote... (more)
Published By: Jim Henderson
Submitted: 15 December,2001
87I Own A Dog
Preview: I own a dog, or to be more precise, a four-legged fur-covered food processor (food goes in one end and out the other). Several considerations have prompted me to reexamine its’ purported reputation as mans’ best friend. Dog ownership, like everything else, has become more complicated since the first canine showed up at a cave looking for a handout... (more)
Published By: Jim Henderson
Submitted: 15 December,2001
88Put Down That pencil
Preview: You’re surrounded, commanded the booming metallic voice from outside. Give yourself up! The occupant inside the barricaded room defiantly replies, I’m not giving up! Moments later a squad a black uniformed men in combat boots burst into the room amid a shower of splinters. The remnants of the door lay in pieces under their feet. Every man’s rifl... (more)
Published By: Jim Henderson
Submitted: 15 December,2001
89Santa For A Day
Preview: The year was 1981. I was eighteen years old. Much too young to be Santa Claus, right? Especially with my short skinny self. Right? Wrong! It’s all my fault. I can blame nobody else. I was the one who opened my big mouth, and I paid the price. I was working at a restaurant called The Village Inn, down in Tampa Florida. There are no white Christmase... (more)
Published By: Michael LaRocca
Submitted: 16 December,2001
90Friends -- With Benefits
Preview: We've all been there. That long, seemingly endless drought during which time you get no play. No action. No sweet lovin'. The dating life is mediocre, and you've got no prospects. But as we've proven time and time again, we're a resourceful bunch. Many take matters into their own hands. In the Appalachians, many fall into the arms of a sexy siblin... (more)
Published By: Kwame DeRoche
Submitted: 19 December,2001
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