| 291 | WORDS NEVER HEARD IN THE WORKPLACE Preview: Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. WORDS NEVER HEARD IN THE WORKPLACE By Patience Pantperhog Today’s modern workplace is awash in buzzwords, bafflegab, and all manner of blessed bumpf to wade through or digest over a morning latte with a dab of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on top. The never-ending drive to increase profits means empl... (more) Published By: Patience Pantperhog Submitted: 10 January,2005 |
| 292 | The day my computer died Preview: I’ve always been a skeptic when it comes to technology, especially computers and the Information Age. I used to think it was crazy how people would put their total faith into a machine, some even more so than in their faith in humanity. Human beings are flawed, imperfect creatures. I say this in a positive way because if humanity were completely p... (more) Published By: Jesse S. Somer Submitted: 10 January,2005 |
| 293 | Procrastination Emancipation Preview: It's early January as I sit down to research and write this newsletter. I launch my web browser, surf over to MSN.com, surprised to find the feature article displaying a picture of Santa Claus with the caption "It's not too late to have your presents arrive on time." Somebody's been procrastinating - either Bill Gates or me (maybe I didn't refres... (more) Published By: Deborah Carraro Submitted: 12 January,2005 |
| 294 | I hate my computer and other inspirational thoughts Preview: The New Year has not started out very well for Yours Truly. After the first day of the new year, my life went south for the rest of the winter. All I can say is, I hope it has a wonderful winter, and don't forget to write. Speaking of writing, I can sum up my feelings at this moment by saying, "I hate my computer." Perhaps, you may think the wor... (more) Published By: By Rev. James L. Snyder Submitted: 15 January,2005 |
| 295 | Dog Poo Preview: In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town’s dog poo is under attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could become an international incident. Unknown person or persons have been sticking little US flags into piles of doggie poo for over a year now. Surprisingly the dog poo br... (more) Published By: And you thought we had problems? Submitted: 17 January,2005 |
| 296 | Dog Poo ( Turd Tales ) Preview: And you thought we had problems? In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town’s dog poo is under attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could become an international incident. Unknown person or persons have been sticking little US flags into piles of doggie poo for over a year ... (more) Published By: Birmingham UK Com Submitted: 20 January,2005 |
| 297 | IT'S FUNKY FEBRUARY! Preview: Copyright "The Quipping Queen" 2005. IT'S FUNKY FEBRUARY OF COURSE! (Calendar of Odd Events for - FEBRUARY 2005) **Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon -- Why is everyone so happy? Because it's festive, flirtatious and frolicking February of course -- ahem ...the shortest month of the year. So find yourself so... (more) Published By: B. Blitterlees & E. Craboon Submitted: 20 January,2005 |
| 298 | How To Have An Argument With Yourself And Win Preview: Throughout the years, I'm happy to report, I have learned a thing or two about myself. My only regret is I have not learned more than a few things. I could make a long list of things I have not yet learned in life. My hope is, of course, to shorten this list drastically. Presently, I want to zero in on one thing I have learned, which has stood me... (more) Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder Submitted: 22 January,2005 |
| 299 | Make a wish on Titan and send it to your friends Preview: A new type of eCard simulates science news webpage Recently a piece of news is widely spread on internet. It announces that NASA scientists have found mysterious characters on the rock of Titan and it might be the sign of civilization having existed on the planet. Bob Rowntree received this URL link (http://www.uuswap.com/ecard_titan.php) from he... (more) Published By: Maggie Jones Submitted: 26 January,2005 |
| 300 | What Whine Goes With Cooked Goose? Preview: Some who know me suggest I might be a wee bit absentminded at times. I prefer to think of it as simply being actively engaged in processing thoughts; giving the tiny gray cells a good workout. My motto: Don't hate me because I'm thoughtful. I must admit to a certain aura of preoccupation at times. However, it is not as severe as the Gracious Mi... (more) Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder Submitted: 29 January,2005 |
| 301 | Queen Shopper for a Day Preview: Though there was a bit of snow still left on the ground, it was a bright sunny day. Looking outside the window, the sun's glow compelled me to draw closer to the window, to bask in its warmth. Oh, that was so neat! It felt like Spring had arrived! So, I (this person who vowed to never experience the outdoors until winter had passed) decided to ... (more) Published By: Joyce C. Lock Submitted: 29 January,2005 |
| 302 | A true roommate story-psyco surfer Preview: My worst roommate (and I've had some bad ones) was on my semester at Tel-Aviv University. It started on the group flight there, with this obnoxious surfer looking guy who was seated next to me (I was on an aisle, he was in the middle). On the ten hour flight, he had me put something in or take something out of the overhead for him at least fifteen... (more) Published By: dan the roommate man Submitted: 30 January,2005 |
| 303 | A roommate story too strange to make up Preview: So it's my fifth (and final) year of undrgrad and I am planning on getting my own place; but right before that happens I get an opportunity to rent a house for a total of $750 month, and this includes utilities. Well, no shit, I'm going to go for it. All I have to do is find two roommates. Well I met some dude (we will refer to him as CrazyBones) ... (more) Published By: dan the roommate man Submitted: 30 January,2005 |
| 304 | THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY Preview: Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005. THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY -- Or, how to improve one's vapid vocabulary -- In the fast-food, fast-track, and fast-lane of life, there’s precious little time for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me). I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I ha... (more) Published By: Victoria Elizabeth Submitted: 31 January,2005 |
| 305 | GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! Preview: Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005. GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! -- GET OUT AND CELEBRATE "THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER" 2005 -- On February 9th, people all over the place will be ringing in another Asian Lunar New Year – THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER! It’s time to dance with Dragons, bang on the drums, light those fancy firecrackers (left over from Halloween), c... (more) Published By: Victoria Elizabeth Submitted: 04 February,2005 |
| 306 | Mindfulness and Laughter: Gaining Clarity While Giggling Preview: Life is funny. Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous moments that we tend to ignore. We get so caught up in being earnest that we miss opportunities to gain clarity while giggling. Sure, there are times when it is considered inappropriate to laugh, but if we're honest, we'll see that if we're suppressing a smile it's a sign that we'r... (more) Published By: Maya Talisman Frost Submitted: 04 February,2005 |
| 307 | A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo Preview: Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least entertains the idea. Hobbies range from sports to crafts to reading and even traveling. Some hobbies don't make sense to me like collecting dead insects. My long established hobby has earned me a membership in the POP (People Observing People) Culture. The rules specify that each member must swear n... (more) Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder Submitted: 05 February,2005 |
| 308 | BRING OUT YOUR INNER ROMEO & JULIET! Preview: Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2005. BRING OUT YOUR INNER ROMEO OR Juliet! -- Or, where to find a romantic rendez-vous to reconnoiter? - By Theolonius McTavish, currently a ribald roving reporter (with an abiding interest in arcane topics like curious, odd, or downright postively playful placenames), and part-time errant carpet knight, (a left-... (more) Published By: Theolonius McTavish Submitted: 06 February,2005 |
| 309 | In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It Preview: Often a store has a sign with the warning, "You break it, you bought it." This is to keep people from carelessly handling the merchandise. I'm thinking of another sign, which should be posted all through my house. "If it's broken, I bought it." This is not to say everything in my house is broken, but to point out that everything has a breaking ... (more) Published By: Rev. James L. Snyder Submitted: 12 February,2005 |
| 310 | CASHING IN ON CANOODLING! Preview: Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2005 -- CASHING IN ON CANOODLING!-- ...Hmmm…is love really in the air ...or am I just running on fumes from my old jalopy? - By Theolonius McTavish, a patently absurd roving reporter with oodles of time on his hands to engage in spurious shenanigans likes this one - Relationship experts abound these days (sort of ... (more) Published By: Theolonius McTavish Submitted: 14 February,2005 |